Third Loop
by Lily G
Summary: When it’s time to deal with the aftermath of the Chinese fiasco, it’s time for Colby to cope, and maybe to have a new beginning. Warning: SLASH Charlie/Colby. Little mention of non-con just mention in chapter 1! Last chapter is up!
1. Breakdown

**Title:** Third Loop, part 1/3  
**Author:** Lily G  
**Characters/Pairings:** Charlie/Colby, Don, Megan, David  
**Word Count:** 3249 words  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** language, mention of non-con (just mention), slash  
**Spoilers:** The Janus List, Trust Metric  
**Summary:** When it's time to deal with the aftermath of the Chinese fiasco, it's time for Colby to cope, and maybe to have a new beginning.  
**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I own anything, that including my fantasies about Colby and Charlie.

**Betas:** By the lovely paranoid woman  
**Author's notes:** Feedback is really appreciated, as much as constructive reviews, no need to flame!

"Oh hey, buddy!" Don greeted Charlie when his kid brother entered the bullpen.

"Hi, Don! Here is the result you asked me this morning. I have discovered a pattern in his M.O. and probabilities show that your killer will choose his next target in Orange County. And according to that," he continued, showing the file in Don's hands. "He's going to dump the body in West Hollywood. I'm sorry I can't be more precise," he apologized.

"That's okay, Chuck. You gave us some material to work on. Thank you," Don said when they were walking towards his office.

"All right. I have also heard that Colby was back. Where is he?" He looked at the cubicles and just saw Megan sending death glare to Don and David harassing his keyboard violently.

"He was useless. I told him to go home," Don said flatly. "You're returning to CalSci? Can you drop these papers by him? It's on your way."

Charlie stared at his brother in disbelief.

"What?" Don asked.

"Did you really tell a guy that almost died two weeks ago after being accused of treason that he was useless?" Charlie asked appalled by the stupidity of his own brother.

"Uh, I don't rememb…"

"Oh trust me, he said exactly that," Megan snapped, interrupting him.

"Geez, Don! You were running out of chewing gum so you couldn't shut your big mouth or what? That was really tactful and subtle! When did you become a black-hearted asshole?" Charlie hissed. "You should definitely consider a heart transplant." Then Charlie stormed out of the room. On his way to the elevator, David caught him.

"I have the spare keys of the traitor. Take it and give it back to that spying bastard." He angrily threw the keys at Charlie and left without adding a word. Charlie was so stunned by what he had just witnessed that he barely noticed the elevator doors closing on him.

Charlie left the building and drove to Colby's address. When he reached the door, he noticed that some smart-ass had written "TRAITOR" on it with what seemed to be a black paint spray. _So funny and clever,_ Charlie thought, rolling his eyes.

He knocked on the door but there was no answer. He could see a ray of light filtering under the door, so he knew that Colby was there. Moreover, his car was in the parking lot. He knocked again but louder this time. When five minutes later there was still no answer, he began to worry. He decided that the best way to remedy his worries was to use the spare keys David "had given" him earlier. _Well, threw me should be the correct word,_ he thought.

He was shocked beyond belief when he stepped into the main room. The flat looked like a hurricane had gone through it. Everything was destroyed into pieces. All the books were on the floor, pages ripped out. CD's and DVD's were busted or scratched to be unreadable. _What did they think? That he was hiding information in Brokeback Mountain?_ Charlie was trying to wonder. He suddenly wanted to kill the people who had doggedly done that. What he saw was going from bad to worse at each room. Even the mattress had been torn apart. He also noticed empty alcohol bottles on the floor.

Suddenly he heard a slight noise. He walked in that direction. He guessed that he was in front of the bathroom when he heard water running. He felt that he was intruding, so he almost left when he noticed faint sobbing. He finally decided to stay and check if Colby was injured or worse.

"Colby? It's Charlie! Do you hear me?" No answer. He was now hoping that the door wasn't locked. "Okay! I'm coming in!" he yelled, terrified by what he could find behind this door. What he discovered was totally heartbreaking. The room was in same condition than the others. Broken glass was spilled, bloody footprints leading to the shower where a shivering, still fully-clothed and sobbing Colby was. Charlie ran toward him and turned off the icy water. Colby was rocking back and forth and endlessly repeating the same sentence "I'm a useless traitor… I don't deserve to live… I'm a useless traitor… I don't deserve to live…"

Charlie was trying to catch Colby's attention. He put an arm on Colby's shoulder. The man flinched under the touch and tried to go away like a caged animal. "No, please. Don't touch me. No, please…" Colby was pleading like a little boy. He didn't seem to recognize Charlie.

"Colby, hey! Colby! Colby, focus on my voice. It's Charlie."

"Charlie?" He said weakly.

"Yeah buddy, it's me, Charlie. Come with me. We need to dry you or you're going to be sick," Charlie said gently.

"Who cares anyway?" He asked defeated.

"_I do_ care, okay?" Charlie affirmed.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you care?"

"First, step out of the shower. We need to warm you up, you're freezing. Then we will talk as much as you want. Okay?" Colby nodded. He got up and winced at the shards of glass under his feet.

Charlie led him to the bedroom. He found some clothes that seemed still in one piece and dry bath towels on their way. Then he helped him to strip out of his soaked clothes and to get into a pair of sweat pants. He also took the shards of glass out of his soles.

"Keep the comforter on you. I don't want you to go into shock because of hypothermia. I'm going to try to make some coffee if the coffee maker hasn't been destroyed," Charlie said before leaving Colby alone in the room.

"I'm impressed, Colb, It's probably the only thing that wasn't broken," Charlie said five minutes later, bringing back two mugs.

"Thanks," Colby said taking a few sips of the steaming beverage. "How did you enter? I thought I had locked the door."

"Yes, sorry, David gave me the keys. I had to drop some papers from Don," Charlie said, looking away.

"Gave you or threw them at you?"

"Umm, _Ithinkthatwasthesecondoption_," He said very quickly.

"What? I didn't catch what you were saying. So I guess it was the second possibility." Charlie only nodded.

"So, now, will you explain to me what happened to your apartment? I'm still trying to determine if it was a hurricane, an earthquake or the Third World War," Charlie said, trying to make Colby smile. He almost succeeded when he saw a twitch on the corner of Colby's blue-iced mouth.

"Hmmm, probably some of my dear co-workers, or not… G-Men probably did that during the house-search," he said looking around.

"You kidding, right? I can't believe Don could have done _that_!"

"Even if Don was very angry at me and would have loved to do it, I don't think he did."

"Search-house? C'mon! They are pretty careful in general. Why did they break everything?"

"Government is not very fond of spies and traitors. Too bad for me. I just regret that they also reaped my father's photos. It's not like I can see him again."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Colby. Anyways, you're not a spy or a traitor."

"Face it Charlie. I was. I still am."

"No, you're not!" Charlie said forcefully.

"Yes, I am. I could see it when I came to the office the last few days. Everyone was speaking and the second I arrived, they stopped. They looked at me like I had something disgusting on my face. Call me paranoid, but I even went to the bathroom to check that I didn't have 'traitor' written on my forehead. For weeks I have been looked at like I was crap. I'm tired of that."

"I thought you were with your family last week, resting."

"Yeah, I was. But at first they were avoiding me, and then they treated me like a plague. My mother told me that I'd brought dishonor on the family. So I left and ended in a shitty motel which was way much comfy than that place. I drank myself to sleep with booze."

"And watching your flat, you still don't get rid of that habit."

"No," Colby said looking away.

"You have to stop that, Colby, or one day you'll drink yourself until alcohol-induced coma." Colby just shrugged. "Does your mother know that you didn't have a choice? That it was an undercover mission?"

"I don't know. She said that it broke her heart when I was caught and sent to jail, and that it was worse when I escaped. She is so disappointed. I think it's beyond repair." Colby was trying to beat back tears. "She didn't even come to see me at the hospital. She told me that she couldn't trust me anymore and that she didn't want me to have a bad influence on my nephews and nieces. She thinks that I still lie to everyone, even after what happened on the freighter, after that I was tortured. She's just like the others. She would rather see me dead. I wish I were. That would solve everyone's problems."

"Colby!" Charlie cried so loudly that he made Colby jump. "Don't you dare say that! I _do_ trust you, I _do_ believe in you, and I'm glad the hero you are survived. You don't deserve all the shit people are putting you through. You're worth way much better than that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And I don't consider you as an untrustworthy man."

"Maybe you'll change your mind when you realize that I was in the same room as you, naked _and gay_. See, I also lied about my sexuality. I'm not trustworthy. I'm just a filthy sinner. You can leave if you feel uncomfortable. See? One more reason to disappoint everyone. And how people will react when they will know that you are here?" Tears were still threatening to fall.

"_Stop. It. Now. _Stop taking pity on yourself. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't give a fly fuck to what other people think. Anyways, you're not thinking straight, no pun intends, you're still shivering from the icy shower and you are into shock. And if even you're gay or het, no one has the right to judge you. It's _your_ private life. You've got the right to love whoever you want, and I precise that it's the polite version… I'm sure that, being the fifth generation of soldiers, you've been told the contrary. I can't even think about what would have happened if you had been discovered."

Realization crept in Charlie. "Oh, my God! Your reaction in the shower! You were terrified that I would touch you. Did something happen to you in the army or in jail?" Charlie asked horrified by the potential answer.

"No! Well, in the army some people busted me. They gave me a lot of shit. But I just ended beaten to a pulp," Colby said casually.

"Colby, how can you say that you have '_just_' been beaten up like you would ask coffee in the morning? It's not _normal_ to beat people up because they are not like you. You should know that. Your mind is seriously messed up. Did you, at least, press charges?" Charlie was sure he already knew the answer.

"No. You know in the army it's 'Don't ask, don't tell.' I should have been discharged and brought dishonor on my family. Well, I guess that if I'd done that, I would have spared everyone's torments."

"Colby!" Charlie warned exasperated. "And in jail? What happened?" he added more friendly, not wanting to make his friend feeling aggressed.

"I can't deny that it wasn't a close call, a very close call. Some neo-Nazis who proclaimed themselves as patriots decided that, quote, I needed to be taught how to respect our country and the people who live here. One day they cornered me in the shower and held me against the wall. I tried to fight but they were five, bigger than me. They kept me from struggling and that hurt a lot. I had marks on my ankles and wrists for days. I closed my eyes so tightly when I felt the guy behind me that they hurt." Tears were falling freely now and Charlie was looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

"The guards didn't do anything?" That was more a statement than a question.

"They didn't tell those guys to do it but they probably knew what was going to happen. They didn't do anything to discourage them. They just turned a blind eye on that, on me, on them. You know, when you are in a high-security jail, you're already nothing. I was considered less than nothing, not even a human being by some people."

"So, how came you didn't end…" Charlie couldn't convince himself to say the word. He felt a shiver running along his spine.

"Raped?" Colby finished with tremor in his voice. "Kirkland needed to talk to me so jailors had to stop them from raping me. Kirkland – it's kinda ironic, isn't it?" Colby asked bitterly. "I can still feel their hands on me. I can still hear them call me their bitch. I can still feel this guy behind me every time I close my eyes, or when someone is too close. And I still remember the other things they did to humiliate me and break me."

Now Charlie was desperately trying _not_ to think about what Colby meant.

"Did you tell Kirkland?"

"Hell, no! I was too ashamed, and I didn't want to blow up my cover. So I kept my mouth shut. I can't believe I'm telling you that. I think that if I wasn't a complete mess right now, I wouldn't have told you. I wouldn't have told anyone. I barely slept during these five weeks. I was too afraid of what they could do to me. I don't even want to tell you how terrified I was when I had to go in the shower. For five weeks, I probably took the quickest shower in jail history." Colby gave a forced laugh. "So, still thinking that I'm not a dirty Nazi's bitch, a dishonor and a filthy fag?" he asked with any hint of hope in the voice, voice rough with emotion.

"Yep! Still thinking you're not any of that! Sorry to disappoint you," Charlie answered, hoping that he would eventually convince his friend. Then he grabbed Colby into a tight, breaking-bones hug.

"How can you still touch me after everything I said and done?" Charlie heard from Colby's muffled voice.

"Look at me, Colby." He forced the young man to look at him in the eyes. "I can touch you because you're still you. I'm proud of what you did for our country and more than that, I'm proud of _you_." He put a hand on Colby's jaw to prevent him from looking away. "I trust you with all my heart. To me, you still are the strong man I met two years ago. To me, you are brave. To me, you are beautiful." Then he lightly kissed Colby on the lips as the other man was staring at him in complete disbelief.

The last words and actions finally broke the last barrier Colby had tried to build the last couple of years. He gripped Charlie's body for dear life and sobbed uncontrollably repeating, "Don't leave me, please…" over and over again. Charlie was soothing him by telling him that he was sorry for what had happened to him. He whispered sweet nothings into Colby's ear until the crying man was asleep. Charlie felt like he had spent the whole afternoon in a roller-coaster. He quickly followed his friend in sleep.

Charlie woke up one hour later, aching from his sleep in a completely uncomfortable position. He disentangled himself from the sleeping agent and made his way through the apartment to bring Colby's unbroken belongings together. He also took some pictures with the camera of his cell phone to show his father the damages.

About another hour later, Colby woke up alone. He immediately began to panic at the thought that either everything had been a dream, or Charlie had left afraid by the kiss, his nervous breakdown and the whole situation. He was desperate to see that he was alone, again. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear Charlie coming.

"Good evening, sleeping beauty!" he said with a grin. The whole thing seemed very awkward to Colby who didn't know how to react until Charlie came closer to him to kiss him on the lips. "Feel better?"

"Depends," Colby answered, confused. "I feel a little better now that I told the tale, even if I made a fool of myself by crying like a baby. But physically I'm still freezing and I must have caught a nasty thing." He couldn't see any light through the curtains so he asked, "What time is it?" rubbing his tired eyes.

"6 p.m. Dad should almost be ready for dinner so it's time to go home." Charlie saw Colby's eyes widen.

"Oh. So you're going home?" He asked, trying to hide the sadness in his voice.

Charlie decided that it would be cruel to torture him any longer. "Yeah, and you're coming with me, dumbass. I won't let you in that… Wait! I'm trying to find a word. Apartment? No. Battlefield? Much better. So I was saying that I won't let you stay in this battlefield."

"Really?" Colby was looking like a shy little boy.

"Yes, really!" Charlie assured him. "Now pack the stuff I found earlier. You're not coming back here for a while. We will come back later to tidy up."

"Umm, before we leave, I have to confess that I'll kinda be homeless in 3 days."

"Kinda?" Charlie asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, my landlord sorta kicked me out. He told me that I brought up too many issues and that people were afraid of me. He also used against me the fact that I haven't been able to pay the rent for two months. Now, seeing my apartment and the door, there's no way he'll give me back the deposit. So I could just leave it like that. It's not like it would change anything."

Charlie could see Colby's depressed mood coming back with vengeance. "Damn! When will this nightmare end?" he cursed. "You can stay in my house as long as you need."

"But your father, are you sure he doesn't mind?"

"First of all, it's _my_ house, so I can invite whoever I want. And my father likes you, so I think he won't mind."

"You really sure?"

"Yes, Colby. How many times do I have to repeat it?"

"Okay." Then Colby suddenly stopped. "To a certain extend, I'm glad you drove here with your own car 'cause there's no way I can take my SUV."

Charlie turned to see the four tires punctured. He sighed deeply thinking, _if I catch the guy who did that, I'm going to kick his ass into next year._ He was now angry at Colby's neighborhood, the landlord, the jail guards, the neo-Nazis, the government, his brother and his team, and probably a lot of other people. He was thinking about building his own jail to lock everyone there and throw the key very far away. He could probably ask Larry to send them on another planet…


	2. Family

Third Loop, part 2

**Title:** Third Loop, part 2/3  
**Author:** lillyg  
**Characters/Pairings:** Charlie/Colby, Alan, Don, David  
**Word Count:** 2759 words  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** language, slash  
**Spoilers:** The Janus List, Trust Metric  
**Summary:** When it's time to deal with the aftermath of the Chinese fiasco, it's time for Colby to cope, and maybe to have a new beginning.  
**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I own anything, that including my fantasies about Colby and Charlie.

**Betas:** By the lovely paranoid_woman  
**Author's notes:** Feedback is really appreciated, as much as constructive reviews, no need to flame!

"Dad! I'm home!" Charlie yelled when he opened his house door.

"I'm coming! Oh, hey, Colby!" Alan greeted Colby as soon as he noticed him. "I'm glad to see you."

"Hello, Mr. Eppes," Colby answered shyly, trying to avoid Charlie's father's gaze. "It's good to see you, too."

"Dad, Colby is going to stay with us for a little while. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but everything happened very quickly."

"All right. May I talk to you in the kitchen, please?" Alan asked his son.

"Yeah, sure. Colby, I'll be back in a minute. Make yourself comfortable, you know where the couch is." Charlie winked at him.

"O-kay," Colby said, unsure.

Before stepping into the kitchen, Charlie saw him shift uncomfortably on the sofa. His heart ached to see the usually smiling-and-bantering, confident agent so down.

"I'm here, Dad. I know that you're not happy that I gave you such a short notice, but it was kinda an emergency."

"I can guess. Colby seems to be a complete emotional wreck."

"Oh, trust me. He is."

"What happened?"

"It's too long to tell now, and it's not my place to do it anyways. But to summarize, since the freighter, he has been through hell, and today was the last straw that drove him into a major emotional breakdown."

"Can you just tell me the main train routes? I'd just like to know where I'm setting foot in. I don't want to say the wrong thing and make him feel worse."

"Yeah. You're right. Colby is stuck in a self-destructive loop. The main issue is that he thinks everyone is mad at him, or disgusted by him. I can't blame him for thinking that. Everyone from home or work is giving him shit about the spy thing," Charlie said. "His family isn't supportive and they told him he'd brought dishonor on them. The neighbors are harassing him, painting insults on his door or bursting his tires. His landlord kicked him out. Don wisely told him he was _useless_ and sent him home. David doesn't talk to him; he even threw Colby's spare keys at me. And that's almost the funny part of the story. No need to add that he was tortured, drugged _and_ almost killed _then_ reanimated. I don't think I can handle listening to his jail time story again. And everything happened in a few weeks." He left Alan totally speechless. "Oh, and I forgot. The FBI completely destroyed his belongings during a house-search." Alan stared at his son, aghast. "I even took pictures. I thought you would need to see it to trust me."

"Oh, God! Your brother did _that_?" Alan cried.

"Colby said that it was probably not him, but it _is_ G-Men anyways. Apparently they become a little bit more '_careless_' with spies," Charlie added bitterly, using air quotes.

"I can't believe it. I can't believe _my_ son did that. Even if it wasn't him I can't believe he let someone do that. No, no, no! Did anything survive to that witch-hunt?"

"Mhmm! The coffee-maker, a shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Speaking about that, do you think you could look for some clothes for him? Tomorrow we'll go shopping, but now he's too exhausted, and it's late."

"No problem. I will go get something from my closet. I will probably find some PJ's, T-shirts and sweaters."

"Thanks, Dad. I think I'm going to call the doctor, too, 'cause I found him freezing in an icy shower. I don't want him to get a nasty cold. He might also suffer from slight hypothermia. I tried to warm him up but that wasn't really efficient." Charlie sniffed. "You made lasagna?"

"Yeah. I tried a new egg-plants lasagna recipe that a French friend gave me last week. You know that you brother is able to smell it from the FBI building, right?

"Yep."

"You know that means that he's going to come soon?"

"Yep! And I'm looking forward to seeing him and kicking his ass!" Charlie said cheerfully.

"I wish I could disagree with you, son. I really wish," Alan answered sadly. "I have one more question."

"Okay, shoot!"

"Do I need to set up the guest room, or is Colby sleeping with you?" Alan asked bluntly.

"Wh… What?" Charlie stuttered. "How? Ggguh…"

"Charlie, you' okay?" a worried Alan added.

"I think so. I probably just need to reboot my brain. Did you just out me? No, you don't need to answer that; that was rhetorical. How did you know? Why didn't you say anything? Is it a problem for you?" Charlie was rambling, completely confused.

"I've that idea for a while now. I had some clues - how you didn't fit with Amita, how your face lit up when Colby is around, how happy he is when you're talking about something none of us can understand but you but he is regardless trying to keep up with you. And I have seen him glowing when you proudly develop one of his ideas. To answer your last question - no, it's not a problem."

"You noticed all these things? Wow, I didn't even know he was gay before this afternoon."

"You told him one minute and we left fifteen minutes ago. Let's go see your friend before he freaks out and flies out of the house," Alan said with a smirk.

When they came back in the main room, Colby was panicking and tears were streaking his face.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Eppes… I'm really sorry… I didn't want to bother you. I will find a motel, don't worry."

"Colby," Charlie's father tried to cut him.

"I don't want to be a burden. I understand that you don't want to be near me, too. I'm sorry."

"Yay! Third loop. We need to stop him before he goes beyond control and goes crazy," Charlie stated worriedly.

"Colby!" Alan was still trying to tear the young man from his panic state.

"I know I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve to live. I don't…"

"Colby! Sooooooooooooon!" Alan yelled as loud as he could. Colby's eyes widened in shock. "Finally I've got your attention, _son_." He emphasized the word 'son' to make his intentions clear towards Colby. "Now, would you sit down and listen to me?"

Colby nodded.

"Okay, I'm pretty sure that Charlie already told you this, but I will say it anyways. You're a brave man. Everything you did, you did it for your country. It was an order; it was your duty, so you are_ not_ a traitor. You don't deserve all the horrible things that happened to you. I'm sure your family will understand that you are a trustworthy person. I'm also sure they will come around sooner or later. Either they do it, or not, you will always have a place in this family, no matter what. I'm sure Charlie will agree with me." Charlie was nodding furiously at his father statement.

"But Don…" Colby tried.

"At this time, I'm highly disappointed by my son's behaviors. I think he'll have to change his mind. And if he doesn't, I'm going to kick some sense into him. Okay?"

Colby answered with a shy, "Yes, Mr. Eppes."

"It's Alan for family, Colby. Now Charlie, go get a comforter and heat some water in order to fill a hot-water bottle. Then, call the doctor." Charlie left in a hurry.

"Mr. Eppes. Alan," Colby muttered. "There's another thing I need to confess. It's about me, and that also concerns Charlie…"

"I know, son, I know."

Colby stared at Alan in disbelief. "And that's okay for you?"

"Charlie is old enough to make his own choices. Perhaps it's too soon to say that, but his choice seems pretty clear. That just means that I win another son." Seeing Colby on the verge of tears, he pulled him into a tight hug. "I know I can't replace your father but I will be there whenever you need it. And if you want to talk to me about the whole story one day, or about anything, you know that I'm there. Maybe you would rather keep it between you and Charlie?"

Colby was feeling safe in the house with Charlie and his father, so he decided to spill the beans for the second time this day. He felt better to tell people who didn't judge him the nightmare that had plagued him for years now. He told them everything about the Army, the spying mission, the jail, the freighter, the hospital, his family, and the new life he had to start again. He felt so good to do it in a warm cocoon with Charlie holding his hand. He didn't know what would happen between them but he was ready to fight in order to keep his new family. By the time he finished his story, the doctor arrived and started to examine him.

It was Alan's turn to fight back tears. He couldn't believe that Colby was still alive after everything that had happened in his life. He was also glad that the young agent had found someone who loved him and a place where he would always be welcome.

Eventually, the doctor gave some instructions and tips to fight hypothermia. He prescribed Colby some sleeping pills and some anxiolytics. He told them to call him at any moment if he developed symptoms of a cold or something worse.

When Charlie walked the doctor back at the door, he found himself face-to-face with his brother, David right behind Don. His eyes immediately darkened in anger.

"What are you both doing here?" Charlie snapped.

"Nice to see you too, Chuck. Why is the doctor here? Is Dad sick? Is he okay?" Don said, worried.

"Dad is fine. And my name is Charlie, Char-lie, C-H-A-R-L-I-E, Charlie. Are there too many letters in my name for you, Donald?"

"Are you sick?" Don asked, keeping a witty comeback for himself.

"You wish! But no, sorry!"

"What? I don't want you to be sick. Are you insane? Would you let me in?"

"No."

"Hey, this _is_ also my house. You can't let me out!"

"You wanna bet? By the way, last time I checked it was my name on the title deed, not yours. Now leave. Both of you. I said you were not welcome."

"Geez, at least can you tell me why the doctor was here?"

"Colby."

"Why is he here? Why did you bring him near Dad? I don't want him near my dad." Don said, seeing his junior agent on the couch under a comforter with his father carefully watching him.

"How old are you? Four? Did Colby steal your G.I. Joe in pre-school this morning? Remember me what means SAC… Super Asshole in Command? No! That's supposed to be Special Agent _in Charge_. Keyword is '_Charge_'. You're supposed to be the mature one, and you're supposed to notice when one of your best agent, a _hero_ by the way, is in a destructive spiral. Be a grown up for once."

"What's wrong with him again?" Don asked, taken aback by his brother's gut reaction.

"What's wrong? I can't believe you're asking me that!" Charlie glared at his brother. "He went through hell the last two months and you're asking me what's wrong? I can't believe it! Everyone give him shit. His boss, which is a jerk by the way, even told him he was _useless_ today. Maybe you know that bastard?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I was tired. It went wrong," Don tried lamely.

"You were tired? Are you fucking kidding me? Even if you were that doesn't mean you've the right to belittle him, to put him lower than land. Think about consequences. What would have happened if I hadn't found him when he was under a freezing shower? Would Colby have died from hypothermia? Would someone have noticed his absence?"

"I don't even understand what you're talking about, Chuck." Don made Charlie cringe at the nickname.

"I'm tired of telling the story, _Donald_. It's not my place to tell. Here is the deal. If you want to be welcome here again, fix Colby's problems. First of all, you and David are going to make an inventory of everything you broke during the house-search. Take a lot of paper, you will need it. Throw the broken stuff away. If you find something still in one piece, pack it and bring it here, I will let some place in the garage. According to what I saw, it won't be heavy, don't worry. Don't forget to make a phone call before coming. And of course you will replace every broken thing on the list. Use the method you want, make a collect in the office or in the whole building, send the bill to the responsible of the house-search, replace it yourself, I. Don't. Care. You will clean everything from the main room to the toilets. And don't want to see any trace of dust. You will also pick up the pieces of photos and send it to a restorer."

"And how am I supposed to go in his flat?" Don asked angrily.

"Here are the keys." Charlie threw them straight to David's face, hitting him in the process. "The car keys are also with these, so you'll be able to change the four tires that have been lacerated and bring the SUV back here. You will also talk to his landlord and make sure that he gives back Colby's deposit. I let you two days. If you haven't fix most of the things in two days, I will make sure you won't be anyone in the FBI. Both of you. Even the janitor will have a higher clearance than both of yours combined when I finish with you. Period. Am I clear, Donald?"

"Yes, Charles," Don answered. "Now I want to talk to _my_ dad to make sure he's okay."

"Dad, can you come here, please?" Charlie yelled.

"I'm coming." Charlie let the place and sat right beside Colby when Alan talked to his eldest son.

"Are you okay, Dad? Let us in, please? Charlie is completely crazy."

"No, I don't want you to come in. I don't want you to upset Colby anymore. I have seen photos of Colby's apartment. I have seen how that poor boy is. I have witnessed one of his three breakdowns of the day, and according to your brother, it was the lightest. I don't want him to be more messed up because of my self-centered son. I'm very disappointed by you, Donald Eppes. I'm glad your mother isn't here to see you become heartless and selfish. We didn't raise you like that. This whole spy situation wasn't Colby's fault, or yours. Colby hated to spy his friends but he was ordered to. What would you have done if you were in his shoes? What was the worst for him? To loose his family _and_ his friends at the same time.

Alan's last words hit Don harshly.

"I don't expect you to come here before you do what Charlie asked you to do. And I expect you to clear your head and come back with sincere apologies. Both of you," he stated, pointing a finger to David who was suddenly finding the ground very interesting. Then he shut the door in Don's face.

He turned and saw Colby looking at him terrified.

"I'm sor…" Colby begun

"Don't even try to say that you're sorry, son. If someone should apologize, it should be Don. Now let's go get dinner. I've seen some lasagna with our name on it!"

One hour later, the boys excused themselves and went upstairs.

"So…" Colby started.

"So…" Charlie mimicked. "Where do you want to sleep? In the guest room, or here, with me?"

Colby was looking away. "With you," he whispered. Charlie caught him by the sleeve and made him sit on his bed.

"Colby, look at me." When he got Colby's gaze he continued, "I like you, a lot. If I wasn't honest, do you think I would have offered you to stay with me?" Colby shook his head. "Good. Now let's get some sleep. Everything will be clearer after that. Don't forget that tomorrow is another day."

When Alan went to sleep ten minutes later, he saw Charlie spooning his lover in a protective way, arms around Colby's waist, legs entwined. They were both fast asleep and still fully clothed. Alan took off their shoes and covered them with the comforter. _Tomorrow is another day_.


	3. Reparations

Third Loop, Part 3

**Title:** Third Loop, part 3/3  
**Author:** lillyg  
**Characters/Pairings:** Charlie/Colby, Don, Alan  
**Word Count:** 2727 words  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** language, slash  
**Spoilers:** The Janus List, Trust Metric  
**Summary:** When it's time to deal with the aftermath of the Chinese fiasco, it's time for Colby to cope, and maybe to have a new beginning.  
**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I own anything, that including my fantasies about Colby and Charlie.  
**Betas:** By the lovely paranoid_woman  
**Author's notes:** Feedback is really appreciated, as much as constructive reviews, no need to flame!

Two days later, Charlie and Colby had felt in a little routine, but Don hadn't called yet and Colby was going ballistic. On the third day, Colby had finally given up and had told himself that it was a dead end. Charlie had tried to keep him calm, and forced him to stay with him in the garage. After a very long lunch, Alan had decided to fat Colby up so he had forced-feed him even if Colby didn't agree with that. While they were trying to digest, Don finally came unannounced to Casa Eppes.

When he stepped in the garage, he discovered Colby fast asleep on Charlie's lap. His brother was reading a new math article from "Journal on Applied Mathematics," holding it with his left hand while he was stroking lazily Colby's hair with the right one. Don was slightly taken aback by the sight of his brother with another man but after the surprise effect had passed, the pieces of the puzzle began to fit in his head. He also discovered that it didn't bother him that much. He was so focused on the two young men that he didn't even notice his father sneaking behind him.

"I hope you're not here to start a new fight after seeing them," Alan said to his son, making him jump a little.

"I kinda find them cute. But don't repeat it to Chuck." Alan rolled his eyes. "And I'm not here to argue," Don said with a hint of bitterness in his voice, remembering the harsh words his father had told him few days ago. "It's just that I didn't even know they were an item. When did they get together?" His father was staring at him suspiciously while Don was looking at them with a fond smile.

"Three days ago," his father answered briefly. Knowing that his oldest son wouldn't trigger a new crisis, Alan let them some privacy, hoping that everyone would reconcile.

Don coughed lightly to avoid scaring his brother and his junior agent. Charlie looked at him with a challenging gaze, daring his brother to say something about him and Colby. Don held up his hands to show his little brother that everything was okay. Charlie stated, "You're 24 hours late."

"I know. We were stuck in a case yesterday evening. I didn't even go home for two days. And the SUV is still at the mechanics so I can't bring it back yet. We couldn't change all the wheels by ourselves and we wanted to check the whole vehicle for other damage. Apart from the wheels, everything seems to be okay."

"And you were supposed to call before coming," Charlie snapped.

"Wow! Take it easy, _Charles_." Don winced at the formal first name of his brother he hadn't pronounced in years. "I'm not here for a fight. My cell went out and I could charge the battery. I didn't notice before I was out of the building, and I was too tired to go back to the office. I'm sorry, okay?"

"O-kaay."

Charlie relaxed and nudged Colby awake. The latter tried to stay in his comfortable position but jerked awake when he saw his boss right in front of them. He was afraid of Don's reaction after finding him in a compromising position as he was sleeping on Charlie's lap. He began to hyperventilate, fearing the consequences but Don noticed him and tried to calm him down.

"Hey! Hey! Relax buddy; it's okay!" Don reassured him.

Colby didn't look convinced but seemed to relax a little bit.

"What? You thought I was going to beat you to a pulp for hooking up with my brother?" Don asked.

"Kinda," Colby answered sheepishly.

"Okay, I think we need to have a serious talk. But first I have something to say. To both of you. First of all, Colby…" Don paused. "Look, buddy, I'm sorry for what I said last time in the bullpen. It was mean and I wasn't aware of that at that moment. I know it's not an excuse, and I'm not looking for one anyway. That was really stupid, I was just tired and pissed off. I was thinking that you needed more rest and that just came out wrong. I don't know what happened; I just snapped. You are NOT useless. On the contrary, you're a very a key asset to the FBI."

Colby was staring at Don like he was coming from Mars. "You really think that?" He asked, his voice showing worries.

"Yeah buddy. I swear you're a very valuable agent."

'_That's it. Just an agent,'_ Colby thought.

"And more than that, you're a very valuable person. I have thought a lot about whole story for the last few weeks. Even before Charlie, _Charles_, sorry," he corrected himself, "used his voodoo with his Trust Metric, I didn't want to believe that you were a traitor. I watched your interrogation so many times that I know all the words by heart off. I was trying to find a sign that there was something else behind all this mess. I always thought that you were a good man, and with your military family history, I couldn't believe you would be able to betray your country, or your family. And I really couldn't believe that I'd been so wrong about you for two years, that you had fooled everyone."

Colby looked away, ashamed.

"Don, you…" Charlie warned, but Colby stopped him from going further.

"Don't! He's right. Even if I didn't betray my country, I betrayed my friends and my family. I lied to them. I'm the looser who spied on them for two years and sold what they were trying to protect."

"Hey! Don't call yourself a looser!" Charlie cried angrily.

"I agree with Charrr…les. You're not a looser," Don stated. Seeing the unconvinced look on Colby's face, Don asked, "Did you sell any real secret or important information?" Colby shook his head. "Did you fake being our friend?"

"No!" Colby exclaimed with indignation.

"See?" Don pointed at him. Colby nodded. "I can't promise you that everyone will be friendly tomorrow; it would be a lie. But they will learn to trust the new Colby. They will get to know you and eventually, they will come around."

"As if David would forgive me," Colby muttered bitterly.

"I'm sure both of you will go through this. And you will be best friends again. And if he doesn't change his mind, I'm going to kick some sense into him anyway," Don added, smiling. He noticed that Colby was blinking back tears. "Buddy, look, it will get better, I swear," he said, sitting near his agent and patting him on the shoulder. "I took the liberty to call your mother. I had the idea that she didn't take it well."

"No kidding!" he snapped sarcastically.

"We talked for a while. I explained everything, answered every question. I let her know that you were doing this for your country, that you were not a traitor, and that you had no choice. She still need time to process it, but I'm sure she's going to call you soon. I gave her Dad's telephone number."

"Really?" Colby asked, hopeful.

"Really. I also talked to your neighbors. Some agents fed the sharks with exaggerated information to make you look worse. Speaking of the devils, they are suspended until further notice. When I saw your flat, I immediately called them in. I made them help us to list and clean everything. They are also going to replace what they broke, or give you money if it's not possible. After the cleaning, I kicked their sorry ass in the AD office. I'm not even sure they will be reinstated after what they did. I think the ADA was angrier than me. And I was very, very, very angry. Trust me."

"You really did that?" Colby asked in awe. "But they did that because they thought I was a traitor."

"Stop making excuses for them. They don't deserve it. What they did is just inexcusable. And quit saying you are a traitor. You didn't betray anyone. You were ordered to do what you did. You did that to catch spies. If you would have had a choice, would you have done it?"

"No, I hated lying to you. To everyone. That was awful. Always avoiding being close to someone in order to prevent my cover to be blown, never be able to get more than two drinks to stay alert. Knowing that when everything ended, I would be either alone, or dead."

"My point exactly! It wasn't a choice. So, about your neighbors. The lady on the third floor told me that his son was the one who painted on your door with one of his friend. After I told her that if his son wanted to paint so much, he should rather apply for a drawing school, she said she was going to see with your landlord directly. You will be getting your deposit back by the latter. He will drop by the office soon to bring it back. Okay?"

Colby nodded, unable to add a word. He finally managed a weak "Thank you".

"Don't thank me. It's mostly my fault."

"But you didn't do anything!"

"Yeah, 'anything' is the keyword. That's the problem. I was so focused on being angry at you that I didn't notice what they did, how people treated you. What a Chief I am!" Don exclaimed.

"But…"

"No 'buts'!" Don cut him off. "I should have, at least, taken a look at your apartment before you came back. Maybe you wouldn't have found you place in that state. It looks like a bomb exploded inside."

"uh-huh! Your brother is still trying to determine if it was a hurricane, an earthquake, or a battlefield," Colby said with a fond smile. He suddenly remembered that he was talking to his boss and his boyfriend's brother. He immediately panicked. "I… I…" He flinched when Don put a hand on his shoulder.

"I told you to relax, buddy. If I had something against you being together I would have say it earlier."

"I'm sorry, Don."

"For what? Making my brother happy? Feeling better than you had in years? Feeling loved? Look Colb, you don't need to spend your all life miserable. You need to be happy now? You need to close the book on this story. You absolutely don't need to expiate your 'sin' by being alone, sad and depressed." Don air-quoted the word 'sin' to make his point. "You can't be a superhero all the time. You're going to break down if you keep things bottled up. And it wasn't a pun about the number of bottles we found in your apartment. Every superhero needs a friend, look at Superman, he has Lois Lane, and Batman has Robin."

Charlie snorted, "When did you become Yoda, Voice of Wisdom?"

"I think I have seen Bradford too much recently. He's rubbing off on me!" Both Charlie and Colby nodded their agreement with a grin. "Now, I can tell that you're going to see Bradford a lot in the next few weeks." Colby nodded his approval. "You need to sort everything out before it eats you up. I guess that your jail time was hell, and you need someone to talk. I'm here if you want, but if you feel uncomfortable to talk to me, I understand. And I'm not here just as a boss. I'm here for you as a friend, too. Well, if you want to." Don was becoming more and more nervous, and was fidgeting on the couch.

"Okay."

"And I couldn't stand to see you drown yourself in a swimming-pool, or any watery surface, Aquaman," he added with a smirk.

"I don't always…" He stopped when he saw Don raising his eyebrows. "Okay, maybe…" he admitted. "but at least Aquaman is hot and awesome. You could have called me worse!"

"Like?"

"I don't know… The Little Mermaid?" Everyone chuckled at that.

"Well, if you want me to call you Ariel in the middle of the bullpen, I can manage!"

"No!" Colby cried with a terrified look spread on his face.

"Look. I know I haven't had the best behaviors since the Chinese story. It took me too much time to process it and I should have realized that you needed someone, no matter what. I have been selfish and childish, particularly this week. I don't even recognize myself. We are FBI agents and I act like I was in 3rd grade, like I was four instead of a man in his forties. I'm your boss, for Christ sake!"

That comment made Colby smile. He turned to Charlie. "I also have to apologize to you, Charles."

"Charlie," his brother corrected.

Don's eyes became wet. "So I'm not in the doghouse anymore, huh?"

"Well, no. I also owe you some apologies. I have been carried away somehow. I didn't control myself anymore. My brain just snapped, I think. I have been really harsh to you. It wasn't your entire fault." Charlie looked away, somehow ashamed by some of the malicious things he'd told his brother.

"But I've been a prick. Thanks for kicking some sense into me," Don said. Charlie grinned at his brother. "I saw the flat, so I know why you reacted like that. David's beginning to be careful with me; after he said something this morning, I was yelling in the middle of the bullpen when we were back. I almost fired him when he made a witty comeback, and half of the office." Charlie and Colby looked at each other in total awe. "Yeah," Don confirmed with a blush. "But I thought wisely that it would be easier to handle criminals if Megan and I weren't alone to catch them." The three men burst into laughter.

"But you're really okay with Colby and I being together?"

"You're a grown man, Charlie. You don't need me to tell you what you have to do. And Colby is a good man. He's strong; he's brave, and trustworthy." He looked at Colby who was staring at him in disbelief. "Close your mouth, bud, you're going to catch flies. And yeah, I said trustworthy." He turned to face his brother. "He's also kind, and according to the laaaaadies in the building, he's _hot_!" emphasizing 'hot' to make Colby blush furiously. He quickly added for his brother sake, "Not that I'm interested, bro!"

Both Charlie and Colby sighed in relief.

"So we are all good now?" Don asked hopeful, still afraid that Charlie might say no. Charlie and Colby nodded.

"We are not all good," Alan said when he stepped in the garage. Don felt his heart break when he heard his father's words. Seeing that his son was blinking back tears, Alan hurried to correct himself. "I'm sorry, Donnie, it came out wrong. I didn't mean it that way. I just wanted to say that I was sorry for what I told you about your mother. That was low. Even if I was pissed at you and disappointed, I shouldn't have thrown at you what you mother could have thought if she was still alive. You miss her as much as Charlie or I do. It was unfair. I hope you accept my apologies too, Son." Don nodded, incapable to pronounce a word. Alan pulled him into a fierce hug. "Okay, boys! Let's go get dinner then watch the hockey match! You stay with us Donnie? I made brisket."

Don's eyes lit up. "Of course Dad!"

"All right! Let's go!" Alan hurried them out of the garage.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah, Don?"

"Could you really make me being fired?"

"No, but I like make you sweating!" Charlie stated, smirking.

"Oh, and Granger, get my brother pregnant and you will have to marry him!" Don added before running towards the kitchen.

"Don!" both Charlie and Colby yelled in horror.

After a nice reconciliation dinner, Alan was loading the plates in the dishwasher while the boys were messing around. Colby had put the TV on a soap opera for a prank and had hidden the remote. Charlie and Don were tickling him merciless.

Don yelled playfully, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Colby doesn't want to give back the remooooote!"

Alan entered the room. "Behave sons, now your old man wants to watch the game." He winked at Colby, who handed him the remote. Colby cuddled against Charlie, feeling warmer and happier he hadn't felt in years. A new life was finally welcomed.


End file.
